Funny Quotes in General

[Bean]

I figured that after the second Quotes thread in the entertainment section, we should have one permanent thread for sharing all of our quotes. It'd save us some time searching for new sigs at the least.

 

[Stag]

Yeah, good idea, how about this one...

Shit in one hand and wish in the other, see which hand fills up first." Billy Bob Thornton - Bad Santa

 

[Arik]

Murphy: "You didn't tell me I had to pay them back for all that stuff."
Sparks: "No. Not exactly."
Murphy: "You exactly told me it was a magical goodies creator. Remember?"
Sparks: "I may have."
Murphy: "So where the hell am I going to get 108,000 dollars?"
Sparks: "You could transfer the ballance on your high interest card to another one...that actually is a magical goodies creator."
Murphy: "Okay."

-Captain Murphy and Sparks discussing Murphy's new credit card
Sealab 2021, "The Policy".

 

[Daxie]

"Hey I just thought of something funny... your mamma!"
-Cheech

Ok... so that was reaching back... way back... but meh!

 

[Bean]

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laughing - Unknown

 

[Bean]

Postwhoring has a purpose - Cymro

 

[Daxie]

In a hurricane they tell you to evacuate, it's an old engligh word that means get the hell out of there.
-Steve Harvey

 

[Bean]

I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm gonna ask them where they're going and catch up later. -Unknown

 

[Daxie]

All I know about computers is that they run on smoke. When it leaks out, it's broken.
-Unknown

 

[Bean]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back


[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Half the people you know are below average.

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]OK, so what's the speed of dark?

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Constipated People Don't Give A crap

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

[/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!

[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't know how to spell anonymous" -unknown


[/font][/font][/font][/font][/font][/font][/font][/font]

 

[Bean]

God is living in Canada and doesn't want to get involved!

Rehab is for Quitters

Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue

 

[Daxie]

Dusting this thread off.....

...Good night... and big balls!
end to tv show Wipeout

 

[Closet Racist]

My high school geography teacher: "...but the Bible says to love thine enemas..."

The Smoking Astronaut got weeks of enjoyment out of that. I think I still have a carton he did about it.

 

[Daxie]

Not really a funny haha quote, but it's one of my favs

Lex to Lois: "The day I need political advice from a muffin-pedaling collage drop-out, I'll call you. Until then... do you have blueberry bananna?"

 

[Daxie]

The Smoking Astronaut got weeks of enjoyment out of that. I think I still have a carton he did about it.

Wow! SA.... I was thinking about him a few months back. I don't know what made me think of him, but... well you know. If you find the cartoon, please post it. He always did do some of the funnest cartoons.

 

[Daxie]

"Happiest place on earth my Snow-White ass!"

In refferance to DisneyLand
-Charlie (Sheen) Harper: Two and a Half Men

 

[Bean]

"I got busy on thursday, it reminded me of why I don't get busy."

 

[Bean]

"Math was cool until it's homosexual friend algebra came along"

 

[Brikar]

"I'm going to eat dessert for all the kids out there that can't!"

 

[Closet Racist]

"I'm going to eat dessert for all the kids out there that can't!"

Michael Moore?