Enterprise: Bullshit.

Jun 13, 2006
547
2
0
#61
At least the writers seemed to give lip service to Voyager being able to do so due to guile and speed, more than overwhelming firepower. Zip in, kick someone in the nuts, and zip out before a response can be organized. After all, they did have that fancy new-generation warp drive with the moving nacelles.

The Defiant-class vessels had the same advantage, for what its worth.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#62
The Defiant, by design, was powerful. It was heavily armored and armed to the teeth. I seem to recall a line from somewhere that the ship nearly shook itself apart when they turned on the engines for the first time.
 
Jun 13, 2006
547
2
0
#63
That line was in the Defiant's first appearance. I can't remember if it was O'Brien recounting something he had heard, or Sisko telling O'Brien to fix it.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#65
3x20 "The Forgotten" - While Archer meets with Degra, he orders Trip to write a letter to the family of a crewmember killed in the previous attacks. T'Pol is informed that her space-crack addiction may have damaged her neurological system permanently. Seth McFarlane cameos to show us how serious a Trek fan he is. Not a bad episode, and it's nice to see the show focus a little bit on the emotional fallout of everything the crew is going through. It's one of the rare times this show doesn't fall flat on its face when doing a show that focuses on the characters instead of action/adventure plotting.

3x21 "E^2" - A second Enterprise crewed by the descendants of the NX-01 crew comes out of hiding after a century stuck in the past to help Archer accomplish his mission to stop the Xindi. T'Pol sticks around for 117 years just to show us how serious she is. I don't care for this episode. It feels like a waste of time, or like filler, either way, it's kinda dumb. Nothing about it really makes sense, though there are some nice special effects on display. The DS9 episode it's ripped off from is better, in my opinion.

3x22 "The Council" - Archer meets with the Xindi Council in the hopes of convincing them to call off the attack on Earth, but the Reptilians, discovering Degra's betrayal, take control of the weapon and kidnap Hoshi. Degra gets murdered to show us how awesome he is. Seriously, Degra is pretty friggin awesome. Aside from Shran, he's probably my next favorite recurring character this show has ever done. I was actually sad to see him killed, and it's a nice bit of plotting (if a bit obvious) that really gives the last few episodes of this season some weight.

3x23 "Countdown" - With civil war raging between the Xindi factions over control of the weapon, and Enterprise caught in the middle, Archer and his allies race to stop the Reptillians from destroying Earth and rescue Hoshi. Hayes kicks ass to show us how awesome he is. This might be one of the best episodes of the season, or perhaps even the series. It is tensely directed, with cool action and effects. It has a propulsive pace, and the whole episode feels epic and desperate. The battle sequences are loaded with cool effects, especially once the anomalies come into play and start ripping apart the Xindi ships.

3x24 "Zero Hour" - While the Enterprise crew attempts to disable the Sphere network, Archer, Reed and the Macos make a last-ditch effort to board the weapon using Degra's ship. Rick Berman and Brannon Braga flip their audience the bird just to show us how much they hate us. Watching "Zero Hour" after "Countdown" is such a fucking letdown. After the tense, action-packed direction of that previous episode, "Zero Hour" feels limp. The action sequences seem clumsy, and even Shran's last-second rescue doesn't have the impact it should. Oh, yeah, and that fucking alien Nazi cliffhanger just drives me batshit bonkers. This season, 'Enterprise' proved that when it does things right, it really can do things right. Is this great drama? No, but many of the episodes are at least decently entertaining action/adventures despite all the bad acting and limp characters. Nearly all the good-will the show builds up over the course of the Xindi arc is pissed away in the last act of this episode. I remember back when the show was first airing, the promos pitched it as a "mind-bending" season finale. And when I finally saw it, I realized "mind-bending" is just another way of saying "fuck you."
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#66
4x01 "Storm Front" - The Enterprise crew finds itself trapped in an alternate version of World War II where the Nazis have taken over the eastern United States. Archer hooks up with a group of resistance fighters and discovers that history is being altered by factions of the Temporal Cold War. Silik shows up just to remind us that he exists. I... don't even know where to start. The premise of this episode is pure popcorn, but the execution of it just doesn't go as balls-out as it should in order to make it the kind of silly fun it obviously aspires to be.

4x02 "Storm Front, Part II" - Reunited with his crew, Archer must destroy the alien Nazi facility before the temporal conduit is complete, which could throw the entire future into jeopardy. Silik dies just to show us how serious the producers are about ending the stupid Temporal Cold War. This episode is a bit closer to the potential of the premise, but doesn't really reach it until the end. There's a head-shakingly bizarre climax involving the Enterprise dog-fighting alien-enhanced Stukas over New York City that almost comes close to Voyager's hilarious Klingons-Nazis-Hirogen encounter.

4x03 "Home" - While the Enterprise undergoes extensive repairs and refit, Archer struggles to come to grips with his immoral actions in the Expanse. Trip goes to Vulcan with T'Pol just to show us how in love with her he is. Finally; "Storm Front", despite its extensive efforts to close out the poorly-executed Temporal Cold War storyline, mostly felt like a waste of time. It was a diversion between the climax of the Xindi story and what should be happening - dealing with the fallout of that yearlong storyline. This is another one of the rare occasions where the show does character drama without fucking it up. It's not perfect, though - some of the stuff with the Vulcans doesn't feel quite right. Koss telling T'Pol he wants her to be happy just seems wrong, as though whoever wrote it doesn't really understand how Vulcans should speak. But the episode overall is pretty decent, and I'm really glad they decided not to gloss over Archer's dickish behavior.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#67
4x04 "Borderland" - After a group of genetically engineered human soldiers murders the crew of a Klingon ship, Archer is ordered to track them down. Arik Soong engineers an ambush by the Orions just to show us how smart he is. This episode is pretty cool; Brent Spiner is clearly having fun. His smarmy Soong takes great pleasure in poking at people for their failings, and the Augments are an interesting bit of Trek history to dig up.

4x05 "Cold Station 12" In part two of this 'mini-arc,' Soong and the Augments seize control of a Starfleet medical station that holds 1800 Augment embryos in stasis, threatening to kill Phlox's friend Dr. Lucas if the Enterprise interferes in their plans. Malik decides to kill everyone anyway, just to show us how serious he is. This episode has some interesting twists and turns as the relationship between Soong and Malik disintegrates. It also has some nice special effects, though the design of the Cold Station 12 sets is kinda cheesy; I didn't care for it.

4x06 "The Augments" - Rejected by his children, Soong joins the Enterprise crew in stopping the Augments from using a deadly virus to wipe out a Klingon colony. Archer blows himself into space to show us how awesome this show is getting. This episode shows off the real potential this show should have been capitalizing on since the beginning - a fun, action/adventure style prequel to "Star Trek". This episode presents some clever, very different action sequences than we've seen before. It's got the typical starship battle at the end, which looks very nice (the effects for the destruction of the Klingon ship are particularly impressive), but Archer's escape from Cold Station 12 and the Enterprise using the grappler to escape the Klingons are both cool stuff this show has never shown us before. The homage to 'Wrath of Khan' at the end is a little too on the nose, but Soong's decision to give up work on genetics in favor of cybernetics is a fun little hook. Also, I should add that the show's switch to shooting on HD video instead of film has changed the look of the series. The sets have also been repainted to be more colorful, which is a welcome change from all the dull gray of the first three seasons. In HD the show looks great, but a little inconsistent; most shots are amazingly crisp and detailed, with excellent texture on skin and clothing, while some are soft with lots of blooming light sources. Still, season four is an excellent visual upgrade from the previous years.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#68
4x07 "The Forge" - When the Earth embassy on Vulcan is bombed, Admiral Forrest is killed. Ambassador Soval risks his career to help the Enterprise crew expose a conspiracy at the highest levels of Vulcan society. Archer runs off into the Vulcan desert to show us how serious he is. I dig that the show is trying to fix its heretofore problematic characterization of the Vulcans, and that its trying to do so by wrapping it up in a proper prequel storyline. This episode still has some problems. I don't really care for the idea of making Archer the savior of Vulcan society, since he's already been practically sainted by Daniels and the temporal agents. Also, the characterization for the Vulcans still feels wrong in several cases, particularly in their high administrator who seems to be shouting a great deal. But this is the episode that got me starting to really like Soval.

4x08 "Awakening" - V'Las tries to destroy the Syranites while T'Pol struggles to deal with her mother's allegiance to them. Soval defies the High Command to show us how awesome he is. Unlike the previous 'mini-arc', it's more difficult to separate the parts of this one and the whole thing really feels much more like one story.

4x09 "Kir'Shara" - Archer and T'Pol attempt to get an ancient Vulcan artifact to the capital city. Meanwhile, Soval and Tucker take the Enterprise to Andoria to warn Shran of the Vulcan invasion plot. V'Las turns out to be a Romulan agent to show us how random he is. While this three-part arc is pretty entertaining, it's problematic. Archer's inherited memories are inconsistent - he leads T'Pol and T'Pau through the desert, but also doesn't know about the dangerous mineral deposits that could kill him? The character of V'Las doesn't even seem remotely Vulcan, yet only one other minister seems to question him in any fashion. No one ever comments on the fact that he seems about one step short of a full-on raging lunatic. Still, the action sequences are well-done and the plotting is competent.

4x10 "Daedalus" - The inventor of the transporter comes aboard the ship to conduct a test of a new kind of 'quantum transporter', but seems to be keeping something. I fell asleep to show you how boring this episode is.

4x11 "The Observer Effect" - Trip and Hoshi are infected with a deadly virus on an away mission. While Phlox and T'Pol race to find a cure, two Organians observe the crew in secret. Scott Bakula decides to act just to show us how deprived we've been. Seriously... Bakula actually gives a half-decent performance for once in the final scene when he teaches the Organians about human compassion. You can almost hear his voice cracking, he's desperate and choked up about having lost two of his closest friends for a mere scientific experiment. It's kind of stupid that lowly humans have to keep teaching 'advanced' races that being nice to people is a good idea.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#71
4x12 "Babel One" - The Enterprise becomes embroiled in a conflict between the Andorians and the Tellarites who blame each other for missing ships along their borders. The Romulans make an appearance just to show us how serious they are. I love that this episode wants to show us the earliest beginnings of the Federation... but one thing about it just bothers the hell out of me - the Romulan ship's holographic camouflage. It just seems too advanced, like all the other uses of hologram technology has been throughout this show.

4x13 "United" - Archer proposes an alliance of Starfleet, Vulcan, Andorian and Tellarite ships to hunt down the Romulan marauder. Shran challenges Archer to a fight to the death to show us how badass he is. The fight seems like a distraction when the more interesting part of the episode is getting a group of races who have never worked together before in their history to join forces. Otherwise, this is another fine prequel episode. Definitely the kind of story that this show should have been doing all along instead of waiting until season four.

4x14 "The Aenar" - Archer and Shran track down a mysterious off-shoot of the Andorians when they learn that one of them may be piloting the Romulan marauder. The Romulans launch a second ship to destroy the Enterprise just to show us how vindictive they are. I have to say, I'm not as much a fan of this episode as the first two parts. After all the cool stuff with gathering the fleet, the Enterprise spends much of this episode alone and the scenes on Andoria tracking down the Aenar aren't particularly compelling.

4x15 "Affliction" - Phlox is kidnapped by Klingons who need his help to stop a deadly plague. Smooth-headed Klingons show us how cool they are. I can't lie... I kinda love this episode. It's great to see the smooth-headed Klingons and their origin tied to an earlier episode in the season. One of the things this season does well is spread its continuity across the entire season, giving the whole thing a more cohesive feel even though there are more storylines going on than in season three. Honestly, I think if the whole show had been like this, 'Enterprise' would have lasted more than four seasons.

4x16 "Divergence" - The Enterprise and the Columbia must protect a Klingon colony from extermination while Phlox rushes to complete his cure for the plague. Uncle Phil drinks blood-wine in the face of death to show us how Klingon he is. Second verse, same as the first. This episode draws on a ton of continuity, from the Augments earlier in the season, the smooth-headed Klingons of TOS, and DS9's Section 31. The warp-speed grappler sequence is cool, another unique action sequence that shows this season was really trying hard to differentiate itself from the laziness of previous years. At this point, I have no problem saying I'm kinda sad there isn't a fifth season, if it was going to be more episodes like this one.

4x17 "Bound" - Archer accepts a gift of three Orion slave women, whose presence aboard the ship begins to cause the crew to act strangely. Trip and T'Pol realize they're psychically linked to show us how in love they are. I don't really care for this episode. It's just pretty boring and not particularly compelling, save for the stuff about Trip and T'Pol, which is handled in a surprisingly restrained and mature manner. While their sexy massage storyline in season three reeked of Brannon Braga's usual blunt sexuality, these little bits where the two dance around each others feelings seems natural and even kind of cute, though it's certainly never going to be the greatest love story of all time. Long-term romances have never really been a strong point for the writers of 'Star Trek', though at least this time it's not so painful.

4x18 "In a Mirror, Darkly - Part One" - In the Mirror Universe, Commander Archer executes a mutiny to seize control of the Federation starship Defiant from the TOS episode "The Tholian Web." Hoshi walks around in her underwear to show us how slutty she is. Holy hilarious. This episode is mostly setup, but it has some nifty bits, especially at the end as the Enterprise battles the Tholians and Archer boards the Defiant. But the real fun is yet to come...

4x19 "In a Mirror, Darkly - Part Two" - After the destruction of the Enterprise, Archer uses the Defiant as his ultimate weapon to put down the rebellion and ultimately begins to make plans to take over the Empire. Archer fights a Gorn to show us how serious he is. My god, this episode is a hoot and a half. Everyone is in on the game, hamming it up to the fullest. The characters all sneer and snarl at each other, the twists and turns are overwrought to the max. The action sequences are cool, the old-school TOS sets and sound effects are a hoot... And I once again find myself wishing there was a fifth season so I could see this storyline continue.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#72
4x20 "Demons" - The Enterprise crew becomes embroiled in a plot to stop the formation of an alliance between Earth and several alien worlds by a group of racist xenophobes. Robocop shows us how racist he is. This is a decent episode with some fun guest stars, especially Peter Weller as the leader of Terra Prime, Harry Groener, and a bit of voice work from Tom Bergeron. One problem I have is that everyone seems so confused about how this baby could exist if T'Pol has never been pregnant... but the technology to do so is not exactly wild science fiction. Oh, yeah, I have one more problem with it: Anthony Montgomery tries to act again. God, man, give it up.

4x21 "Terra Prime" - Trip and T'Pol discover that going undercover when you're world-famous is very difficult, and Archer must devise a desperate plan to save them and stop Terra Prime from using a powerful weapon to destroy Starfleet Command. Archer sums up 'Star Trek' in under a minute just to show us how cool we wish he had been the last four years. You know what, this is a damn fine episode. The emotional drama works, the action sequences are cool, and the themes of tolerance and working together are all very 'Star Trek'. Indeed, the scene with Archer's speech to the delegates is pretty much 'Star Trek' in a nutshell, and one of the series' best moments. This episode functions far, far better as a finale than...

4x22 "These Are the Voyages" - Commander William Riker and Counselor Deanna Troi, in the 24th century aboard the USS Enterprise-D, run a holodeck program detailing the final mission of Archer's Enterprise NX-01. Riker struggles to make an important decision, and tries to see the parallels of that final mission to his own problems.

Trip blows himself to hell just to show us how much he loves Archer.

The real frustration of this episode isn't that it's 45 minutes of pure trash... but that you can see how easily it could not have been. Indeed, there are a couple of really good scenes here, especially the scene in the galley between Riker and Trip, and after Trip's death as T'Pol is packing up his quarters and tells Archer she wants to meet Trip's parents. There are some nice callbacks to the pilot episode, like the trip to Rigel 10, Phlox's CG smile, and even Shran shows up for a bit.

And, yeah, there's a nice nostalgic feeling to seeing Riker and Troi and the Enterprise-D in glorious HD.

But the whole thing is just a complete and utter mess. Firstly, the TNG elements of the show rob Enterprise of its own finale, tying the episode into a middling TNG adventure. The episode uses the NX-01 crew, shamelessly, to clumsily fill out a decade-old TNG episode, and does such a poor job of it that the two episodes just don't work together. All the goodwill built up over the course of season four, and this episode pisses it all away. The script is messy, shoddy and the cast doesn't seem into it at all. Only Connor Trinneer comes out unscathed and mostly because of his great performance in that one scene talking to Riker about how much he trusts Archer.

The final 40 seconds of the episode are very nice, with the three captains delivering the 'where no man has gone before...' speech and the 'Star Trek' fanfare going strong. I have to admit I got a little jazzed watching that, but, the rest of the episode is such a flat-out disaster that it doesn't make up for it. It doesn't.