Enterprise: Bullshit.

Bean

The Awesome One
Jan 1, 1970
5,243
3
0
38
Canada eh!
cheese.com
#21
I dunno what happened with Bakula. He was ok in Quantum Leap, and I've watched a few episodes of "Men of a certain age" and he's alright in that.

It's like the combination of a mediocre actor, and terrible writing came together to form one giant, massive SUPER SUCK!

Although he's still not the worst on the show. Anthony Montgomery has got to be, hands down, the worst actor to have ever been cast as a regular on any Trek series EVER! It's not at
 

Bean

The Awesome One
Jan 1, 1970
5,243
3
0
38
Canada eh!
cheese.com
#24
Or not hired at all.. Montgomery is that special kinda bad that isn't just a style I don't like, or a misunderstanding of the material, or even just plain out lesser acting skills. He has NO acting skills at all. As far as I'm concerned, he's NOT an actor.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#25
1x21 "Detained" - Archer and Mayweather are captured by an alien race at war with the Suliban. But Archer discovers that the Suliban being imprisoned are innocent people who need his help. Dean Stockwell shouts a lot to show us how serious he is. Pretty solid episode, even if Dean Stockwell seems totally wasted. There's a lot of potential for reuniting him with Bakula, but he's not used in any particularly fun way- he's just a generic Star Trek baddie who could have been played by anyone else.

1x22 "Vox Sola" - Alien snot infiltrates the Enterprise and ensnares the crew. Archer watches water polo to show us how serious he is... or something. I like the ultimate resolution for this one, it's a very 'Star Trek' kind of thing where the crew is able to communicate and ultimately help the creature they initially think is hostile, so that's nice. But this episode is rather boring for much of its runtime. It did have a rather more noticeable musical score than usual, and some nice visual effects for the alien snot world at the end.

1x23 "Fallen Hero" - The Enterprise is ordered to escort a disgraced Vulcan diplomat home, but discovers that she's actually the victim of an alien conspiracy. Archer carries the ambassador's luggage to show us how serious he is. Meh. Not a bad idea, but the execution is dull and by-the-numbers.

1x24 "Desert Crossing" - Alien freedom fighters try to recruit Archer's help after hearing exaggerated stories of his great warrior prowess. Archer and Trip play space lacrosse to show us how serious they are. Another 'meh', though this one has some more unintentional hilarity going on. The scene where Archer and Trip collapse in the desert looks for all the world like Trip is sucking Archer off, Clancy Brown's accent is awful (and awfully inconsistent), and the idea that Trip (the southerner) can't handle the heat is just weird.

1x25 "Two Days and Two Nights" - Archer and company go to Risa to show us how serious they are. Honestly, what just a plain dull episode this is. It seems to want to be fun and light-hearted, a little silliness before the season finale, but not much of it works. Bakula has zero chemistry with his romantic interest, so that whole storyline is a bust. Trip and Malcolm's storyline is worth some laughs, but Hoshi's is predictable at every turn.

1x26 "Shockwave, Part I" - The Enterprise is recalled to Earth after the crew is blamed for an explosion that kills thousands of alien colonists. But Archer receives information from the future that the mission was sabotaged by the Suliban. Archer mopes to show us how serious he is. Some nice special effects in this one, and there's some gravitas to the events going on. Watching the crew work together to bust into the Suliban ship is fun, and the cliffhanger is certainly compelling. Despite Archer's mopiness, this is definitely one of the better episodes of the season.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#26
2x01 "Shockwave, Part II" - Archer is trapped in the ruins of Earth's future while the Suliban torture T'Pol to find him. Daniels builds a time transmitter out of a spoon to show us how serious he is. The first part was pretty decent, but this second half just sucks. Daniels takes Archer to the ruins of an old library where he's shocked to find... books? And he instructs Archer to read the books to discover what happened... but warns him not to learn anything about the future? Plus, the scene where Archer appears as a disembodied head to talk to doped-up T'Pol is just laughably bad.

2x02 "Carbon Creek" - T'Pol tells Archer the real story of human/Vulcan first contact: T'Pol's grandmother was part of a survey team that crashed on Earth in the 1950s and invented velcro to help send a local boy to college. T'Pol doesn't bother to prove her story is true just to show us how serious she is. The actor playing Mestral fares a lot better here than he did as a Borg drone on "Voyager." Nothing about this episode is particularly great, though. I'm more interested in what happened to Mestral after he gets left behind (which was the basis for my story in 'Strange New Worlds' vol 9).

2x03 "Minefield" - The Enterprise enters a cloaked minefield owned by the mysterious Romulan Empire, but one of the mines latches on to the hull and must be disarmed. Reed tries to commit suicide to show us how serious he is. What really ruins this episode is all the frigging cloaking devices! As with the crew's now extensive experience with holograms, the Enterprise crew is now well-versed in cloaking technology... a century earlier than they should be. Reed's attempts to sacrifice himself are tiresome to say the least.

2x04 "Dead Stop" - Seeking repairs after their encounter with the Romulans, the Enterprise finds an automated repair station, but the price may be too good to be true. Trip orders a catfish to show us how serious he is. This one's actually a lot of fun, well paced, with some cool special effects and a nice action sequence to cap it all off. Roxann Dawson directs with a steady hand, and for once the prequel concept works well with the crew's first encounter with matter replication instead of 'protein resequencing'.

2x05 "A Night in Sickbay" - Archer refuses to apologize to the Kreetassans after his dog pisses on their sacred tree... just to show us what a dick he is. My GOD. What a terrible fucking episode. I have never seen a Starfleet captain behave in such a childish, idiotic manner. This asshole brings his fucking dog down to a world where he knows the people are easily offended, and then gets upset when they get offended. I know people who are a little irrational about their dogs, but this is totally fucking ridiculous. Fuck this episode. In the face. To make matters worse, none of the jokes work, and the scenes of Archer dreaming about T'Pol are lame as shit. This is seriously one of the worst episodes of the entire 'Star Trek' franchise.

2x06 "Marauders" - The Enterprise crew helps defend a colony of deuterium refiners from a group of Klingons. Archer loves it when a plan comes together, showing us how serious he is. This is essentially an A-Team episode in space, right on down to the construction montage. I just wish someone had said "I pity the foo" at some point. Mreh.

2x07 "The Seventh" - T'Pol is ordered to apprehend a Vulcan fugitive, but has a crisis of conscience when she uncovers some repressed memories. Archer decides to go along to show us how serious he is. The biggest problem with this episode is that it presents an interesting moral quandary for T'Pol... and then negates the entire thing at the end. Bruce Davison does a fine job, as usual, but once it's revealed that his character is actually evil, the whole thing feels like a waste.

2x08 "The Communicator" - Reed leaves his communicator behind on an alien world on the brink of war. Archer and Reed return to the planet to find it, but are captured. Archer acts absurdly suspicious just to show us how serious he is. The scene where Archer and Reed search the alien bar is just bad. They walk in there, and immediately act in a manner that would call attention to themselves even though they think they're being stealthy. The subplot involving Trip becoming cloaked is stupid, too, and I severely dislike the fact that the Enterprise has a cloaked ship aboard for them to use. Pretty decent phaser fight at the end, though.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#27
2x01 "Shockwave, Part II" - Archer is trapped in the ruins of Earth's future while the Suliban torture T'Pol to find him. Daniels builds a time transmitter out of a spoon to show us how serious he is. The first part was pretty decent, but this second half just sucks. Daniels takes Archer to the ruins of an old library where he's shocked to find... books? And he instructs Archer to read the books to discover what happened... but warns him not to learn anything about the future? Plus, the scene where Archer appears as a disembodied head to talk to doped-up T'Pol is just laughably bad.

2x02 "Carbon Creek" - T'Pol tells Archer the real story of human/Vulcan first contact: T'Pol's grandmother was part of a survey team that crashed on Earth in the 1950s and invented velcro to help send a local boy to college. T'Pol doesn't bother to prove her story is true just to show us how serious she is. The actor playing Mestral fares a lot better here than he did as a Borg drone on "Voyager." Nothing about this episode is particularly great, though. I'm more interested in what happened to Mestral after he gets left behind (which was the basis for my story in 'Strange New Worlds' vol 9).

2x03 "Minefield" - The Enterprise enters a cloaked minefield owned by the mysterious Romulan Empire, but one of the mines latches on to the hull and must be disarmed. Reed tries to commit suicide to show us how serious he is. What really ruins this episode is all the frigging cloaking devices! As with the crew's now extensive experience with holograms, the Enterprise crew is now well-versed in cloaking technology... a century earlier than they should be. Reed's attempts to sacrifice himself are tiresome to say the least.

2x04 "Dead Stop" - Seeking repairs after their encounter with the Romulans, the Enterprise finds an automated repair station, but the price may be too good to be true. Trip orders a catfish to show us how serious he is. This one's actually a lot of fun, well paced, with some cool special effects and a nice action sequence to cap it all off. Roxann Dawson directs with a steady hand, and for once the prequel concept works well with the crew's first encounter with matter replication instead of 'protein resequencing'.

2x05 "A Night in Sickbay" - Archer refuses to apologize to the Kreetassans after his dog pisses on their sacred tree... just to show us what a dick he is. My GOD. What a terrible fucking episode. I have never seen a Starfleet captain behave in such a childish, idiotic manner. This asshole brings his fucking dog down to a world where he knows the people are easily offended, and then gets upset when they get offended. I know people who are a little irrational about their dogs, but this is totally fucking ridiculous. Fuck this episode. In the face. To make matters worse, none of the jokes work, and the scenes of Archer dreaming about T'Pol are lame as shit. This is seriously one of the worst episodes of the entire 'Star Trek' franchise.

2x06 "Marauders" - The Enterprise crew helps defend a colony of deuterium refiners from a group of Klingons. Archer loves it when a plan comes together, showing us how serious he is. This is essentially an A-Team episode in space, right on down to the construction montage. I just wish someone had said "I pity the foo" at some point. Mreh.

2x07 "The Seventh" - T'Pol is ordered to apprehend a Vulcan fugitive, but has a crisis of conscience when she uncovers some repressed memories. Archer decides to go along to show us how serious he is. The biggest problem with this episode is that it presents an interesting moral quandary for T'Pol... and then negates the entire thing at the end. Bruce Davison does a fine job, as usual, but once it's revealed that his character is actually evil, the whole thing feels like a waste.

2x08 "The Communicator" - Reed leaves his communicator behind on an alien world on the brink of war. Archer and Reed return to the planet to find it, but are captured. Archer acts absurdly suspicious just to show us how serious he is. The scene where Archer and Reed search the alien bar is just bad. They walk in there, and immediately act in a manner that would call attention to themselves even though they think they're being stealthy. The subplot involving Trip becoming cloaked is stupid, too, and I severely dislike the fact that the Enterprise has a cloaked ship aboard for them to use. Pretty decent phaser fight at the end, though.
 

Arik

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 1, 2010
2,306
1
38
#28
Wow, I've never seen 4 of the episodes in your last post.

I've always quoted season 3 as when I gave up on Enterprise. Guess it was season 2.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#29
The batch of episodes from 'Minefield' through 'Marauders' actually form a sort of loose arc - the Enterprise is damaged and then spends the next several episodes recovering from it. On paper, that sounds pretty cool, but the execution is just so awful. Archer nearly strands his ship in space forever because he gets all uppity about his dog pissing on a sacred tree. 'Marauders' isn't bad, but it follows the same plot structure of an A-Team episode almost beat for beat, and borrows the 'single mom/orphaned kid' bit from 'Knight Rider' to boot.

Which ones didn't you see?
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#33
2x09 "Singularity" - As the Enterprise moves to investigate a black hole, the crew's behavior begins to grow increasingly erratic, and only T'Pol remains unaffected. I fell asleep to show how seriously bored I was by this episode. For real. I have no idea how this episode ended, because by the time I woke up I had no desire to go back and try again. Moving on...

2x10 "Vanishing Point" - After going through the transporter for the first time, Hoshi believes she's beginning to disappear. Then she really does, just to show us how serious she is. This episode was pretty solid... until the ending when it turns out to all be a dream. How very disappointing.

2x11 "Precious Cargo" - After answering a distress call, Trip and a spoiled alien princess find themselves on the run from alien kidnappers. Padma Lakshmi tries to act to show us how serious she is. Guess what? I fell asleep during this one, too. Padma Lakshmi gives a downright terrible performance, and the first two-thirds of the episode that I saw are a terrific bore.

2x12 "The Catwalk" - To avoid deadly radiation from a storm, the Enterprise crew takes refuge in the warp nacelles. But they soon discover that there are aliens intent on taking the ship hiding in the storm. The writers name-drop Spock's grandfather to show us how serious they are. Pretty decent episode, but unremarkable. I'm not really sure how there's a space storm six light-years across that moves at high warp killing everything in its path... but... y'know, whatever. Some nice special effects in this one.

2x13 "Dawn" - Trip is stranded on an inhospitable moon with an alien he can't communicate with, but the two must work together to construct a transmitter to get them off the surface before the sun rises and the temperature kills them both. Trip tries to drink alien chocolate milk to show us how serious he is. Not a bad 'Enemy Mine' riff. A rare moment for 'Enterprise' where a potential enemy turns out friendly. The real aggravation is, in typical American fashion, Trip's attempts to communicate essentially boil down to "speak slowly and more loud" as though that will help the other guy understand him. It gets annoying pretty quickly, and much of the dialogue in this episode is structured that way.

2x14 "Stigma" - The Vulcans discover that T'Pol got space AIDS from a mind-meld and threaten to revoke her commission. The writers fuck up the Vulcans to show us how serious they are. This heavy-handed AIDS/gay rights story is... kinda shitty. I didn't like it when it first aired, and I don't like it now. The ultimate resolution is unsatisfying, too. It relies on making the Vulcans bigots, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense at all, in order to tell its story. It also doesn't seem to jive with the events of 'Fusion.'

2x15 "Cease Fire" - Shran requests Archer's help to negotiate the cease fire with the Vulcans over a disputed world. Archer punches a woman to show us how serious he is. Meh. Shran is always fun to have around, and Jeffrey Combs plays him well. Also good is Gary Graham as Soval... though I prefer him later on as an ally. That definitely begins here, though, as Soval is forced to grant Archer a modicum of respect.

2x16 "Future Tense" - After the Enterprise recovers a mysterious ship with a part-human pilot, the Suliban and the Tholians both make claims on it and attack. T'Pol still refuses to believe in time travel to show us how serious she is. Though not much in the deep character development department, this episode is pretty fun... though I also struggle to decipher its meaning. Still, some great special effects and some fun space combat. It's well paced and directed.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#34
2x09 "Singularity" - As the Enterprise moves to investigate a black hole, the crew's behavior begins to grow increasingly erratic, and only T'Pol remains unaffected. I fell asleep to show how seriously bored I was by this episode. For real. I have no idea how this episode ended, because by the time I woke up I had no desire to go back and try again. Moving on...

2x10 "Vanishing Point" - After going through the transporter for the first time, Hoshi believes she's beginning to disappear. Then she really does, just to show us how serious she is. This episode was pretty solid... until the ending when it turns out to all be a dream. How very disappointing.

2x11 "Precious Cargo" - After answering a distress call, Trip and a spoiled alien princess find themselves on the run from alien kidnappers. Padma Lakshmi tries to act to show us how serious she is. Guess what? I fell asleep during this one, too. Padma Lakshmi gives a downright terrible performance, and the first two-thirds of the episode that I saw are a terrific bore.

2x12 "The Catwalk" - To avoid deadly radiation from a storm, the Enterprise crew takes refuge in the warp nacelles. But they soon discover that there are aliens intent on taking the ship hiding in the storm. The writers name-drop Spock's grandfather to show us how serious they are. Pretty decent episode, but unremarkable. I'm not really sure how there's a space storm six light-years across that moves at high warp killing everything in its path... but... y'know, whatever. Some nice special effects in this one.

2x13 "Dawn" - Trip is stranded on an inhospitable moon with an alien he can't communicate with, but the two must work together to construct a transmitter to get them off the surface before the sun rises and the temperature kills them both. Trip tries to drink alien chocolate milk to show us how serious he is. Not a bad 'Enemy Mine' riff. A rare moment for 'Enterprise' where a potential enemy turns out friendly. The real aggravation is, in typical American fashion, Trip's attempts to communicate essentially boil down to "speak slowly and more loud" as though that will help the other guy understand him. It gets annoying pretty quickly, and much of the dialogue in this episode is structured that way.

2x14 "Stigma" - The Vulcans discover that T'Pol got space AIDS from a mind-meld and threaten to revoke her commission. The writers fuck up the Vulcans to show us how serious they are. This heavy-handed AIDS/gay rights story is... kinda shitty. I didn't like it when it first aired, and I don't like it now. The ultimate resolution is unsatisfying, too. It relies on making the Vulcans bigots, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense at all, in order to tell its story. It also doesn't seem to jive with the events of 'Fusion.'

2x15 "Cease Fire" - Shran requests Archer's help to negotiate the cease fire with the Vulcans over a disputed world. Archer punches a woman to show us how serious he is. Meh. Shran is always fun to have around, and Jeffrey Combs plays him well. Also good is Gary Graham as Soval... though I prefer him later on as an ally. That definitely begins here, though, as Soval is forced to grant Archer a modicum of respect.

2x16 "Future Tense" - After the Enterprise recovers a mysterious ship with a part-human pilot, the Suliban and the Tholians both make claims on it and attack. T'Pol still refuses to believe in time travel to show us how serious she is. Though not much in the deep character development department, this episode is pretty fun... though I also struggle to decipher its meaning. Still, some great special effects and some fun space combat. It's well paced and directed.
 

Arik

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 1, 2010
2,306
1
38
#35
I've never seen "Carbon Creek", "A Night in Sickbay", "The Seventh" and "The Communicator".

Actually, now that I think about it, "Shockwave" I & II and "Marauders" were all episodes I watched in reruns.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#39
2x17 "Canamar" - Archer and Trip are accused of being smugglers and placed on a prison transport where the inmates overpower the guards and steal the ship. Trip tells a chatty alien to shut the fuck up just to show us how serious he is. There's nothing hugely wrong with this episode, but nothing hugely great about it, either... well, except for Brian Tyler's musical score. Just a big fat 'meh' episode, like so many others.

2x18 "The Crossing" - Non-corporeal energy beings try to take over the crew. Archer acts like a dick to show us how serious he is. Archer's behavior in this episode is ... strange. The aliens tell him he's supposed to be an explorer and to open his mind, but he's like, 'fuck no, I don't want to do that'. Ultimately, it turns out that he's right, but does that really excuse his fairly racist, xenophobic attitude at the beginning? Lame episode.

2x19 "Judgment" - Archer is arrested and put on trial by the Klingons after aiding a group of refugees fleeing the Empire. Archer teaches a Klingon about honor just to show us how Jesus he is. Honestly, I liked this one. Archer almost takes a back-seat to his Klingon lawyer, played excellently by JG Hertzler. Hertzler doesn't get the time, obviously, to craft a character as deeply as Martok, but Kolos is quite well written and acted. The episode also has some nice callbacks to TNG (with Duras and Narendra III) and 'The Undiscovered Country' (with the courtroom sets and Rura Penthe).

2x20 "Horizon" - Travis returns home after the death of his father and finds that some members of his family resent his choice to join Starfleet. Anthony Montgomery keeps trying to act to show us how serious he is. Lame episode, up and down. The Boomers have always been an interesting concept that the show has mentioned but rarely seen... but each time we see them, the execution of it is so lacking. The writers clearly don't know what they want to do with them.

2x21 "The Breach" - The Enterprise is tasked to retrieve some Denobulan scientists on a world engulfed in civil war, but Phlox encounters a survivor of a reactor breach that doesn't want his help. Trip shouts a lot to show us how serious he is. The A-plot concerning Phlox trying to convince an alien to let him help is good, solid medical drama. Billingsley gives a good performance, and the writing is good enough to support it. The B-plot involving Trip, Malcolm and Travis spelunking to find scientists who don't want to leave their rock samples is a total bore. I didn't give a crap about anything going on in this half of the episode.

2x22 "Cogenitor" - While studying a super-giant star, the Enterprise encounters another ship of explorers, aliens who have three sexes but who treat the third almost as a slave. Archer gets pissed at trip to show us how hypocritical he is. Really... Archer of all people yells at Trip for trying to push his morals and beliefs on another race - which is what Archer does constantly. What a load of bunk. I have to give some credit for the ending, which is kinda ballsy - the alien slave commits suicide - but otherwise, this one just kinda pissed me off.

2x23 "Regeneration" - A group of scientists discovers Borg wreckage on Earth left behind from 'First Contact,' but the revived corpses assimilate them and attempt to escape. Phlox invents a cure for assimilation 200 years before anyone has ever heard of the Borg just to show us how serious he is. So much about this episode works really well, it's just a shame that it's just so broken in other ways. The Borg are much scarier and more threatening here than they were for quite some time on 'Voyager,' but at the same time, the B-plot where Phlox staves off assimilation is bad. Plus, it's more retconning of the Borg into pre-TNG timeframe that they don't belong in. Still, there are some great action sequences here, good special effects, the whole thing is paced and directed very well, and Brian Tyler's musical score is great.

2x24 "First Flight" - Archer tells T'Pol about how he first met Trip while working on the NX engine program. T'Pol listens just to show us how serious she is. This episode is pretty boring. There's really not much of a point to it, and then it just kind of ends. Which is good, because I didn't give a crap about anything that was going on.

2x25 "Bounty" - Archer is busted by a Tellarite bounty hunter hired by the Klingons after his escape from Rura Penthe. T'Pol tries to fuck anything that moves just to show us how horny she is. This episode sucked. Firstly, I simply don't find Jolene Blalock attractive, so putting her in skimpy clothes and having her rub all over dudes on the ship isn't as titillating as the writers want it to be. Whatever goodwill the A-plot involving the bounty hunter might have, the B-plot nonsense pisses it away.

2x26 "The Expanse" - An alien probe attacks Earth, killing nearly 7 million people, including Trip's sister. The Enterprise is ordered to go into a dangerous region of space known as the Delphic Expanse to find a race called the Xindi before they construct a larger weapon capable of destroying the entire planet. But first, Archer has to deal with Duras to show us how serious he is. There are some nice special effects and cool action sequences, but this episode just feels off. Its obvious 9-11 parallels seem forced, and the cast doesn't really seem up to the task. Archer does his angry face a lot, Trip shouts, but everyone else just kind of stands around. The episode tries to cram a lot in, closing out the Duras storyline and beginning a new one, so it feels rushed and unfocused. I also don't know why it was Silik and 'Future Guy' who tell Archer about the Xindi rather than Daniels. Just another part of the Temporal Cold War storyline that makes no sense whatsoever.
 

Brikar

The Dude
Jan 1, 1970
3,661
3
0
Massachusetts
#40
2x17 "Canamar" - Archer and Trip are accused of being smugglers and placed on a prison transport where the inmates overpower the guards and steal the ship. Trip tells a chatty alien to shut the fuck up just to show us how serious he is. There's nothing hugely wrong with this episode, but nothing hugely great about it, either... well, except for Brian Tyler's musical score. Just a big fat 'meh' episode, like so many others.

2x18 "The Crossing" - Non-corporeal energy beings try to take over the crew. Archer acts like a dick to show us how serious he is. Archer's behavior in this episode is ... strange. The aliens tell him he's supposed to be an explorer and to open his mind, but he's like, 'fuck no, I don't want to do that'. Ultimately, it turns out that he's right, but does that really excuse his fairly racist, xenophobic attitude at the beginning? Lame episode.

2x19 "Judgment" - Archer is arrested and put on trial by the Klingons after aiding a group of refugees fleeing the Empire. Archer teaches a Klingon about honor just to show us how Jesus he is. Honestly, I liked this one. Archer almost takes a back-seat to his Klingon lawyer, played excellently by JG Hertzler. Hertzler doesn't get the time, obviously, to craft a character as deeply as Martok, but Kolos is quite well written and acted. The episode also has some nice callbacks to TNG (with Duras and Narendra III) and 'The Undiscovered Country' (with the courtroom sets and Rura Penthe).

2x20 "Horizon" - Travis returns home after the death of his father and finds that some members of his family resent his choice to join Starfleet. Anthony Montgomery keeps trying to act to show us how serious he is. Lame episode, up and down. The Boomers have always been an interesting concept that the show has mentioned but rarely seen... but each time we see them, the execution of it is so lacking. The writers clearly don't know what they want to do with them.

2x21 "The Breach" - The Enterprise is tasked to retrieve some Denobulan scientists on a world engulfed in civil war, but Phlox encounters a survivor of a reactor breach that doesn't want his help. Trip shouts a lot to show us how serious he is. The A-plot concerning Phlox trying to convince an alien to let him help is good, solid medical drama. Billingsley gives a good performance, and the writing is good enough to support it. The B-plot involving Trip, Malcolm and Travis spelunking to find scientists who don't want to leave their rock samples is a total bore. I didn't give a crap about anything going on in this half of the episode.

2x22 "Cogenitor" - While studying a super-giant star, the Enterprise encounters another ship of explorers, aliens who have three sexes but who treat the third almost as a slave. Archer gets pissed at trip to show us how hypocritical he is. Really... Archer of all people yells at Trip for trying to push his morals and beliefs on another race - which is what Archer does constantly. What a load of bunk. I have to give some credit for the ending, which is kinda ballsy - the alien slave commits suicide - but otherwise, this one just kinda pissed me off.

2x23 "Regeneration" - A group of scientists discovers Borg wreckage on Earth left behind from 'First Contact,' but the revived corpses assimilate them and attempt to escape. Phlox invents a cure for assimilation 200 years before anyone has ever heard of the Borg just to show us how serious he is. So much about this episode works really well, it's just a shame that it's just so broken in other ways. The Borg are much scarier and more threatening here than they were for quite some time on 'Voyager,' but at the same time, the B-plot where Phlox staves off assimilation is bad. Plus, it's more retconning of the Borg into pre-TNG timeframe that they don't belong in. Still, there are some great action sequences here, good special effects, the whole thing is paced and directed very well, and Brian Tyler's musical score is great.

2x24 "First Flight" - Archer tells T'Pol about how he first met Trip while working on the NX engine program. T'Pol listens just to show us how serious she is. This episode is pretty boring. There's really not much of a point to it, and then it just kind of ends. Which is good, because I didn't give a crap about anything that was going on.

2x25 "Bounty" - Archer is busted by a Tellarite bounty hunter hired by the Klingons after his escape from Rura Penthe. T'Pol tries to fuck anything that moves just to show us how horny she is. This episode sucked. Firstly, I simply don't find Jolene Blalock attractive, so putting her in skimpy clothes and having her rub all over dudes on the ship isn't as titillating as the writers want it to be. Whatever goodwill the A-plot involving the bounty hunter might have, the B-plot nonsense pisses it away.

2x26 "The Expanse" - An alien probe attacks Earth, killing nearly 7 million people, including Trip's sister. The Enterprise is ordered to go into a dangerous region of space known as the Delphic Expanse to find a race called the Xindi before they construct a larger weapon capable of destroying the entire planet. But first, Archer has to deal with Duras to show us how serious he is. There are some nice special effects and cool action sequences, but this episode just feels off. Its obvious 9-11 parallels seem forced, and the cast doesn't really seem up to the task. Archer does his angry face a lot, Trip shouts, but everyone else just kind of stands around. The episode tries to cram a lot in, closing out the Duras storyline and beginning a new one, so it feels rushed and unfocused. I also don't know why it was Silik and 'Future Guy' who tell Archer about the Xindi rather than Daniels. Just another part of the Temporal Cold War storyline that makes no sense whatsoever.