Back to basics

Bean

The Awesome One
Jan 1, 1970
5,243
3
0
38
Canada eh!
cheese.com
#1
It's been awhile since we had a good brawl, so just to help liven things up around here...

*Bean punches Stag in the mouth. While Stag is trying to figure out where that came from, Bean grabs an empty tequila bottle from the bar and promptly smashes it over Cymro's head*

Let it begin! :mallets:
 

Stag

It's me again
Jan 1, 1970
3,292
0
0
52
Florida
#2
*Stag rubs his now bleeding mouth, stops shagging his sheep, pulls up his pants and grabs a kitten from the corner of the bar*

HEY BEAN - YOU WANT TO HIT SOMEONE IN THE MOUTH? YOU BETTER DO IT RIGHT!!!

*Stag takes the kitten by the tail and starts beating Bean about the head with it, as if it was a feline set of noon-chucks*

Oh, Bean, one more thing---heh heh heh

*Stag walks over to the closet door and removes the large padlock and sign that says don't open until Christmas*

I've been keeping this on ice, just for you

*Stag pulls open the door and reveals a shadowy creature in the dark recessess of the closet. Stag reaches in and pulls out the squeeling creature and throws it at Bean*

Here you go Bean, I think you remember your ex
 

Cymro

Religious Fanatic
Nov 30, 1999
5,028
3
0
Shitsville, CF63
#3
*Cymro looks at Bean angrily, considers retailiating, but decides there are more important things to take care of*

THE BOOOOOOOZE!!!

*Cymro begins to lick up the tequila and smashed glass*

The broken glass cuts my throat so the alcohol goes straight to by blood :)
 

Gitch

Consultant Fellationist
Jan 1, 1970
435
0
0
God's own country merry England
#4
*Gitch wanders in off the street seeing that the strangely named Astrobar Fight Club Forum has a new post*

Hey you Pussies - COME ON!!

*Gitch rips off his shirt revealing a lightly furred chest and comfortable-looking gut topped by a St. George's Flag*

For Queen and Country!

*Gitch grabs a full UK pint of Theakston's Mild ale, downs it in one and hurls it into the melee. By some strange law of physics he manages to hit 1 Welshman and 2 Canadians with the same glass*
 

Stag

It's me again
Jan 1, 1970
3,292
0
0
52
Florida
#5
*Stag rubs his skull*

"Canadian, who the fuck you callin' a Candian"

*Stag picks up a hand full of olives and starts flinging them at Gitch while rushing at him*

"I ain't no Canuck, I am a US Citizen!!!"

*Stag pounces on Gitch, props his mouth open with two toothpicks, takes two cans of whipped cream and starts filling up his mouth with the contents*

"That's for your queen and her country"